RFL 2015 is here! AKA- Chad writes the best "Why I Relay" pages EVER.

Our Relay For Life Of Custer County 2015 website went live last week (HAPPY DANCE!) Even though we Relay all year at my house, we always get excited when the website goes up, because we can see who all is returning to our team, all of the new teams... and of course we get to size up our competition ;) Just kidding Maria and Krisha. 

Anyway, Chad (my husband) always writes the most amazing "Why I Relay" story every year for his page.  It's kind of a tradition for him- each year he sits down in his big ol brown recliner and writes a post explaining what Relay means to him at the moment.  After losing his mom this year- I am sure it was harder than ever. 

So, not to put him on front street or anything, but you guys should totally read this.  You can see his actual relay page here (and that's also where you can donate to him- hint hint)  ENJOY!

XO
Cassi

Why I Relay!!!

Time once again for the relay excitement to begin. Well officially that is. My family does Relay For Life all year, because we have been touched by this group more than the words that I am going to us in this message to you will ever be able to tell you. Every year I sit in my chair and write out why we do what we do at the Selby Household. So here we go- this is why we RELAY

R-------Represents
E-------Extreme
L-------Love
A-------All
Y-------Year

Six years ago my father was diagnosed with stomach cancer. It was at this time my life changed. At the time I was a young man running around without a since of reality what so ever. When I got the phone call from my mother letting me know that my father was in the hospital, I knew that there was something wrong. My father would never go to the doctor- let alone the hospital. So with no details I left OKC to travel back home to Arkansas to be with my family so we could find out what was going on. When I arrived they had discovered that my father had a tumor in his stomach that had grown to where it had 90% blockage of his esophagus. The moment I heard this was the only time I can remember feeling beaten. The man that was my family’s rock was sick, and none of us knew how to handle it.
        
Once we got our bearing, we all decided we were going to fight. We are Selby’s that is what we do. We may not win every time, but we never give up. I returned to Oklahoma, because my father said there was nothing I could do for him in Arkansas. This was a challenge for me. I felt helpless, and couldn’t concentrate on things.  I couldn’t believe what kind of control my father illness had on me. Three weeks later I got a phone call from my father.  It was a call that I will never forget. He was telling about what was going on with him, and that they had just put a feeding tube into his stomach, because he wasn’t able to swallow food. He had done his first round of chemo that was an in-patient week long ordeal. He was down and sounded like a man that had been through hell. He said, “Son I don’t know if I am going to be able to do this. I may need your help later down the road.”
         
I hate to admit this, but this was not an easy decision. I had recently started a relationship at the time with a wonderful woman. My heart wouldn’t let me abandon the man who had given me so much in my life. So I called my girlfriend to try to explain to her why I had to leave her in Oklahoma while I moved back to Arkansas to help my family. She didn’t even hesitate.  She told me if I stayed in Oklahoma, I wouldn’t be the man she wanted to date. With that, I put my career on hold by taking a step down so that I could be with my family.
         
With that the worst year of my life started. There are so many details that I could put here that honestly I still to this day don’t believe I can really think about. Things that I watched, things that I wished I could close my eyes and forget, but when I do close my eyes they still to this day flash at me in a horrible nightmare that doesn’t seem to stop.  So, I will not go into them. I will say that the saying “You are stronger because you lived through it” is the most untrue thing I have ever heard.  I watched cancer destroy the strongest man I have ever known in a blink of an eye. When he started treatment he was at least 180lbs, and towards the end he was lucky if he was 90lbs. After a year of battling this horrible disease my father passed away.
         
There was a glimmer of good that came out of this situation.  The woman that I was dating in Oklahoma decided that she didn’t want me to fight this battle alone.   She moved to Arkansas and brought her 2 year old son with her.  She was truly amazing at helping with the caregiving that my father required. We had to do things in shifts when my mother and I were at work she would care for him, and then we would take up when we got off work.
         
This was not our only battle with cancer in my life. When I was five my mother also had cancer. Back than we were nowhere near the advance medicine that we have today (thanks in a big part to American Cancer Society’s funding of research to develop new drugs and treatments). She went through countless treatments of radiation and other things that I was honestly too young to remember. I can say that my earliest memories as a child is of walking down St. Edwards Hospitals to see my mother in a hospital room countless times.
        

 My mother won her battle with cancer that time, but not without her battle scars. She ended up with major heart issues from the radiation that was used to battle the disease. We didn’t find out until 10 years later about the damage that was caused. When we were told that the walls of her heart were paper thin, the doctor said that is why you probably struggle with things around the house such as vacuuming and anything that requires physical activity. My whole family laughs at this. At that time in my mother was mowing the 4 acres of land that we owned every weekend, throwing bags of grass over the fence to the cows, and many other amazing things. Truly the strongest women on earth.
        

 A year ago they found cancer in my mothers leg. Her outlook on it was about the same as my dad’s- well time to start fighting. She went to the Mayo Clinic, and started getting doctors opinions on how to treat her cancer. They found that the only real way to get rid of the cancer was to do a full knee replacement including some of her thigh bone.  She went through the procedure and the healing of the complete knee replacement. She went through this at the age of 60 which is amazing to me- I don’t believe I could do it now. After only 3 weeks post op, she went back to work. Something that the doctors told her would take her at least two months.
         

One week before our Relay For Life last year I got another phone call from my mother saying that she wasn’t feeling good, and was going to go ahead and go to the doctor. She said that it had been a struggle to get to and from work all week and wanted to feel better before she had to return to work on Monday. I said, “Well I am going to go to be on vacation. I’ll drive down and see you.”  On the way down they admitted my mother into the hospital because of her heart. She passed away at 4:00 am that morning. The doctors say that her heart just finally gave out. I would also like to say as a testament to my mother resolve the week before my mothers passing she missed one day of work. Can you imagine doing that?  Your heart and liver failing and you are at work because that is what you do.  Such an amazing woman. As a matter of fact the love that my mother had in her heart was amazing. An hour before she passed away, she was lecturing me (something she did very well I may add) about getting some sleep, because I had been up for 24 hours, and she didn’t want me to be too tired. What an amazing women she was.  The loss of this great woman is a tragic loss to the world. Cancer may not have been the bullet that killed my mother, but it was the gun that fired the bullet.
         
This is why we Relay.  To give people hope.  Fighting the good fight can make a difference. You may say that my story doesn’t sound as if there is a chance to win against cancer. Well, to that I say you are wrong. This is how my family thinks of CANCER.


C------Create
A------A

N------New

C------Change
E-------Every
R-------Relay

         
The way we have won is because we have grown. The woman that moved to Arkansas to help me is now my wife. We have a son that is named Wes- some of you may know him as Cancer Man. The super hero that has dedicated his life to winning the fight against cancer through Relay For Life.  Last year he raised over $7,000 dollars on his own towards winning the fight against cancer. My favorite saying that he has is “I’m eight, what’s your excuse?” With that being said, I don’t think any of us can have anything to say about that except your right I better get started. Every day I watch what he does, and it warms my heart to think I have had a hand in raising this amazing boy, soon to be a man. It reminds me of the great things about my parents, because through him he helps me forget the last couple of years filled with bad memories.
         
With that being said Relay For Life is all about hope. Hope for a cure, hope that there is an end in sight, and hope that one day peoples lives will not dramatically change because of cancer. So what do you say?   Lets help other people have HOPE!!

H-------Hope
O-------Offers
P--------People
E--------Everything!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You,
Chad

Gma's Boxing Gloves

During Relay season I have been sharing some of my favorite Relay stories with you.  These stories that touch my heart, and explain WHY someone Relay's.  I shared my husband's, my friend Denice's, and today I want to share Jacy's with you.  Jacy is on my Relay team this year, and we hit it off right away, because we can relate to each others care giver stories. 

This story is posted on Jacy's personal Relay page and is another great example of why it is so important to take the time to customize your page.  When you open up and tell your Relay story, you inspire others to join the fight with you.

And without further adduce - Jacy's Relay story-

Cancer is a word that hits very close to my heart. It has become a disease that has overpowered the world. You hear is every day every min every second that someone has or is being affected by it. Thinking of it you hear the word Cancer more than I love you, family, or any kind words in general.  Which a couple of those being the strongest words created.  We all take life for granted sometimes and not realizing our surroundings until it might be a little too late.

Just after becoming a new mommy my family and I learned my gma had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was a gloomy day. But she was destine to fight and pulled out her boxing gloves. April fool’s day she received her double mastectomy. While that is the day of joking for most people, our family was starting a serious new journey. Recovery, chemo and radiation. We were on our way.

Things looked wonderful. A few years went by and the Dr. noticed some tumors surfacing. She knew it would be another fight.  But she was willing to go round 2. This time multiple tumors were diagnosed in her spine and radiation treatments burnt a hole in her esophagus. Walking skeleton she became. Thanksgiving Day I wasn’t happy with gma not being able to have Turkey Dinner. So I pureed turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy.  Ew.  But gma loved it. I knew she wasn’t giving up and I wasn’t giving in. Gma pulled through once again.

Through all her Dr appointments, treatments, and medications stood the sweetheart of her life, my gpa. He always was right there by her side loving her. Crushed her meds, worked, and kept up with the house.  His health suddenly wore him down. Months and months of him trying to keep strong we lost him a few days before Christmas. We always worried gpa couldn’t live a day without gma. I believe she knew that to.

Now our family was faced with many decisions on how gma would be taken care of. There’s where my journey of a caretaker began. I had a man tell me don’t put your life on hold she won’t live 6 months. Well, I was bound and determined to prove him wrong. I quit my job of many years and picked my lil family up and moved gma to her home. Her house my gpa built her in Fay, Ok. We had the time of our lives. Gardening, cooking, pedicures, manicures, Dr Phil, Cheetos, Dr Pepper, late night chats, swimming at age 79, road trips, make-up and hair every day, and lots of quality time. Memories I will cherish forever. Seeing her smile everyday was the best thing in the world.

My husband and I always take a trip to Red River and debating to take it that year was hard. We decided a few days would kind of be nice. The day of leaving was approaching fast. Four days before gma took a turn for the worse. Very few hours of sleep, but lots of hours of holding her hand and lying right next to her. I debated not leaving. Hospice assured me they would be at her side with my mom and take care of everything.  My last words to her were "Gma, stay strong until I get back in 3 days."

Six hours after we left my mom called  and gma hung up those boxing gloves and decided she needed a vacation to.

I miss her bright smiling face every day. But, I know she’s on my shoulder. That’s when I decided to become part of the fight for cancer.  I’m just beginning my list but I have accomplished the Susan Komen 5k race, participating on a Relay for Life team, and I have a journal I’m planning to finish this year.

Sometimes we are faced with tough times, but never realize someone else could have it worse. I challenge you, my family, my friends, and to everyone else in this world to be part of One Family. The Family Fighting to Cure Cancer. Come together as one. Put our boxing gloves on. WE can conquer this awful disease. We are the World. Only WE can make it a better place. Make a donation, participate on a Relay team, or walk with us.

P.S. Gpa passed away 12/17/2010   Gma passed away 2/16/2012. I proved the man wrong.

Together, we can finish the fight!!!!!

I Relay For Them.

Today is National Relay Kick Off Day.  In that spirit, I would like to start sharing some AMAZING examples of personalized Relay pages.  You have heard it over and over- personalize your page.  Why?  Well, it's simple really.  If someone clicks your fundraising link, and is captivated or inspired by what you are writing about, they are more likely to give you a donation.  I know it can seem scary, but you don't have to be an amazing author; just speak from your heart. 

You know, one of the biggest joys that comes with being an avid Relayer is the community of Relayers you meet along your journey.  I'm not just talking about people at your local event- but people you get to know from all over the country.  You have got to love modern technology- it is connecting those of us that bleed purple from all over the globe.  Whether it be through Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, or blogs like this one.  We are sharing our stories, ideas, and passion like never before. The Relay story below comes from Denise Mortimore's Relay Page  Denise is the Event Chair for American Canyon's Relay For Life in California.  Denise and I got to know each other last year when I made some Relay tank tops for her and her girls.  I have to say I think American Canyon is pretty darn lucky to have her as a chair.  She brings fresh ideas, a fierce spirit, and has so much PASSION for Relay.  I see a lot of myself in her- no wonder I like her so much! 

Without further ado - one of my favorite Relay stories. 

My Reason to Relay
The first time my best friend asked me to participate in Relay For Life I didn't feel like it would be a good idea.  I did not know anyone that had cancer at the time.  It sounded fun and it sounded interesting, but I felt I had no right to be there, because I didn't know anyone with cancer.  My best friend told me she didn't know anyone that had cancer (mind you- she is a survivor) at the time either, but we both ended up signing up together.

Little did I know that my life was about to be drastically touched- drastically changed.  I learned that I wasn't just walking for those fighting cancer right then, but those that have fought and won, and those that have fought but lost their battle.  My heart was touched, and I knew I was going to walk with everything in me for my Grandmother.

In 2007 my Grandmother was diagnosed with Leukemia.  It was late on-set leukemia and it was a devastating diagnosis.  I was very close with my Grandma.  Watching her health decline to this disease was heart-wrenching.  She passed right before my oldest daughter turned one.  I miss her every single day and know she is by my side.  I just wish she was still with us.  I walk and walk and walk in her honor.

Last year I found out that not only will I be walking for my Grandma, Uncle, friends, and children of friends, but I was now going to be walking for my Dad.  He was the one that heard those awful words "you have cancer" and I remember the phone call like it was yesterday from my step-mom telling me "it is malignant".  I immediately started bawling.  You see, my dad is my world and the thought of watching his health decline was so scary. He was diagnosed with Stage 2 Prostate Cancer.  But, prostate cancer is slow growing and many (not all) men will die of other health related issues before they will of prostate cancer.   So okay.  I can be okay with this.  Make sure he does all his follow-ups, etc.  He is a stubborn man and I knew he was not going to let this cancer win.  Ever.

Then came another scary diagnosis.  He was having some health issues and kept going into the doctor trying to feel better.  Feeling that the problem was probably his gallbladder, they did an ultrasound.  I am so thankful they did.  There, inside his body, was a tumor the size of a grapefruit.  It appeared to have attached to the Vena Cava and things did NOT look good.  He was diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumor.  An extremely rare tumor (Steve Jobs died from the same tumor) in that only .05% of malignancies will be this type of tumor.  That is only 1-2 people in 100,000.  The fact it appeared to be attached to the Vena Cava also made surgery scary and very difficult and we were warned that if it was attached, there would be nothing they could.  So the day of the surgery came.  We all sat in the waiting room on pins and needles.  Many many hours later they came out to tell us they got it all.  Even the part that was *just starting* to attach to the vena cava.  They said it was one of the most difficult surgeries of their entire career.  But they got it!  I walk with everything in me in his honor- he is a Survivor!!

I walk for an extremely courageous and beautiful little boy named Jared.  He is battling leukemia right now and is kicking some major cancer butt!  He has been through so much in his 3 short years on this planet but through it all?his infectious smile warms hearts and gives EVERYONE hope.  He is a Survivor!!

I walk for a friend of mine, someone with whom I was very close with that passed away from breast cancer.  Not only was she a friend, but she was my mentor to me.  I will never forget the phone call I received to tell me she had passed.  I can still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing.  I am walk in her honor.

My Uncle, the man I am named after, fought prostate cancer as well and won!  It was a long road for him but HE IS SURVIVING!  He is an inspiration to me, always has been.  I am walking for him.

One of my dearest friends, who is on my team with me, and the friend I talked about at the beginning is also a survivor.  Thyroid cancer.  I did not know her when she had cancer but I know her now and am honored to call her my best friend.  I walk with pride for her.  I walk with thankfulness that she fought this battle and I was able to meet her and have her in my life.

I am walking for one brave little girl, Rylie Cruz.  Her life ended way too soon from neuroblastoma.  Her courageous battle with this disease was an inspiration to many.  She touched my heart in so many ways.  NO child should ever have to deal with this disease!!!  Absolutely NO 3 year old should ever have to know what cancer is.  She is now one of Heaven's beautiful little angels.  I walk for her.

I walk for my two beautiful daughters ages 5 and 3 in the absolute hope that they NEVER have to know cancer on a personal level.  I pray they never have to know what it feels like to lose someone they love to it, and I pray they NEVER EVER have to deal with it in their own bodies.

I walk for my husband who I love more than words could ever express.  I pray and I walk in hopes that he NEVER has to deal with it in his own body.  Just the mere thought of him having to deal with it is terrifying.  In his career (firefighter), many men and women are diagnosed with and die from cancer.  I pray and I hope that he will never ever have to battle this.

I walk for my mom.

I walk for my step-dad.

I walk for my step-mom.

I walk for every single person in my life.

I walk for every single child.

I have various other family members and friends that have battled this disease and lost while others are surviving.  I am walking for every one of them.

For each person who has lost a loved one or who has been affected by this disease in some way...I am walking for you.

I am walking for all of our children.  I am walking for their future.

PLEASE support my efforts by making a donation or by joining my Relay For Life team. Together, we have the power to help create a world with less cancer and more birthdays!

Wouldn't it be wonderful for our children, grandchildren or great grandchildren to grow up in a world where there IS a cure for cancer?  I'm hoping to make that happen!  Are you?

_________________________________________________________

Powerful words, right?  Straight from the heart.  Denise is walking for you.

Moved, inspired?  Throw a little donation Denise's way.  and for goodness sakes, go personalize that page!

Have an awesome Relay story?  Post a link to your Relay page below!

<3 Cassi

Chad's Story

This blog post is a very special, and personal one.  My husband sat down and worked on his Relay For Life page tonight, and to my surprise, he shared his story on WHY Relay for Life is important to him.  It was so inspiring to me, that I had to share it with you here. 
As always- for the cure!
Cassi

Hello Everyone,

I have decided after two years to join another Relay for Life Team.  I have been active in Relay helping my wife and son’s teams, but I haven’t joined.   Honestly, the memories are still very hard for me deal with. What I have enjoyed over the years is sitting back, and watching everyone fight to end cancer.  Everyone always had a common goal.  Last year at Relay they had a fight back activity where you made a pledge for the year of how you were going to fight for the cause. This took me back, because I have always been hiding while my family fights.  So, my pledge for the year was that I would share my story of my family’s battle with cancer, and be more involved.  I would hopefully let people who are out there that feel the same way know that is ok to hurt for the ones they have lost.  Also, hopefully it will show them that it is right to fight for the cause, and stand with all the people that are willing to do it.

At age 7 I had my first experience with cancer.  My mother had stage 4 ovarian cancer. This was a time when Chemo wasn’t really around. Through my mother’s strong will and stubbornness, she became one of a very few that survived this disease.  She didn’t make it out of the fight without scars, to this day she has a wide list of health problems that she has been fighting with for the past 25 years of her life.  At seven, I was very unsure of what would happen.  I can remember walking down a lot of hospital hall ways, and being in the hospital room with a lot of families in them. Still having my mother here to this day is amazing.

 My mom today.

The next experience with cancer was with my father five years ago.  My father was the rock for my family. He was the one that we all turned to whenever there was a problem.  One day, while working In Oklahoma City, I received a phone call from my mother saying that my father was in the hospital.  My heart dropped to floor.  I got to Arkansas as soon as I could.  Once there I found that many test had been ran on my father, and they had found that he had stomach cancer that had grown to a 90% blockage of his esophagus.

This struck me very hard.  I was torn, because my father was in pain, and my life was in a completely different state over five hours away.   Once we got the plan from the same doctor that had treated my mother seventeen years before, I returned home. Over the course of a month I spoke to my family every day for updates, and tried to return to my life. One day, I called and talked to my father.  He was very down, and told me his one fear was that if it did come time for his fight to be over, he would be in a strange place that he didn’t call home.  This caused me to hurt for my father, so I made a decision that was difficult for me to make, even though I knew that I had go and be with him.  My wife and I had just really started dating, and it is amazing that she stuck with me during this time, because I was so distant from everything in my life.  I had to have a conversation with Cassi, and tell her I had to leave Oklahoma and return home.  She was so supportive, and said that she understood. So a week later I left Oklahoma to help my mother take care of my father. 

 Cassi and I when we first started dating.

Once returning home we began our battle.  By then chemo had completely broke my once strong father.  He had gone from 195ibs to 90 lbs, and I think he lost weight every day after that. He was on a feeding tube because he couldn’t swallow any food.  Just thinking about that is enough to kill me.  My father didn’t taste food for the last year of his life. We tried a wide variety of treatments, he had chemo while hospitalized, chemo from home, radiation, and surgeries. None of these were successful. The time I knew that the outlook wasn’t going to be good we were at the doctor’s office getting him a chemo treatment , and he got up to go to the bathroom.  After five steps,  he went straight down into my arms. It was a downward spiral after that. 

 The family after dad started chemo.

My hope was gone, and I was a beaten man.  The only thing that kept me going was that Cassi had decided that I shouldn’t go through this alone.  She decided to make a huge leap in her and her two year old son’s life.  She left her job, and moved to Arkansas.  She helped give me strength, and became another care giver for my father during his last year.  My mother, Cassi , and I worked in shifts taking care of my father .  

                           Wes and I in a rare moment of play time after moving to Arkansas.

 He didn’t do a lot of walking the final three months of his life. I remember him falling, and my mother calling me at work, and me coming home to check on him. Once I got there I knew he was really bad, and close to the end. I told him that I was going to call an ambulance and I remember him being so mad at me- like I had betrayed him, because his wish was to pass away at home. I was crying when I told him these words, “I am not willing to give up on you yet , dad,  and I am not willing to let you give up either.  I give you my word, once they tell us it’s over; I will break you out of the hospital if I have to, and bring you home.  I am just not willing stop fighting.” His response to this was, “Well fine at least shave me,  I am not going to go anywhere looking like a mountain man that can’t even take care of himself.” He was always worried about being proper, and how he didn’t want people to see him as weak.  So, I shaved his face, combed his hair, and we took him to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, the doctors didn’t want us to lose hope, so they kept up with the treatments and the other things for quality of life that they could do. We were in the hospital for almost a month until they finally said he would be lucky to survive a couple more days.  I was the one that had to lean over while he was in the hospital bed, and inform him of what we had been told.  In the edited words of my father he said “Stuff happens.” Than he looked me dead in my eyes, and said, “Son, I know I said I never wanted you to put life on hold for me, but I am glad you are here.”  At that moment,  I knew what we had to do, which was grant his wish and take him home.

Getting him home was not an easy task. We had hospice (which is a life saver please don’t miss read what I am writing- they help so many families, and I can’t thank them enough) but, hospice can only be there so much.  There are so many people that need them throughout the city they work in, they came in for around an hour a day, and the rest of the time it is up to caregiver’s.   I will spare you the details of all of the health care that my mother, Cassi and I had to do, but I would like to say that as a father myself,  I will do anything that I can never to have my son do the things for me that I had to do for my father.  Every day I close my eyes, and I can only remember the bad times while my father was sick.  I struggle to remember all of the great things he had done. Every once in a while when I get ready for work,  I hear my father’s voice saying “Make sure your shirt lines up with your zipper boy.” Or, “Slow down while you are shaving your missing to many spots.” and I smile.

My father survived for three weeks which was a lot longer than the two days they thought while he was in the hospital. During that time Cassi did a lot of reading for me about how to cope and deal with losing a loved one.   She also researched things we could do to help make things easier for my father.  The main thing she found was you always needed to make sure you said goodbyes, and let them know you loved them. This was hard for me and my father, because we were both non affectionate type people.  But, two days before he passed I took the opportunity to tell him how much I loved him and that I promised I would watch over the family. He looked at me and said “I love you to, now stop this.  I am having enough trouble right now without all this boo hooing.” I know this sounds harsh, but no sweeter of words could have been said by Jack Selby.

The last night was horrible.  We had to hold my father down, and it was like watching World War Three was going on in his body.  The only thing I really remember was telling Cassi to take Wes out of the house, because he shouldn’t see this.  Then, I remember sitting next to the bed and feeling peace go through the house.   I looked up, and my father, after a year of fighting, had passed.

My father passing away was not a total loss to me.  First, it gave me my wife, Cassi.  We got married on October 10^th, 2010 (or 10-10-10, so I can always remember it.) She took the experience, and channeled her love for my father to Relay for Life.  And, if I do say for myself, she is one of the biggest fighters for the cause I have ever met in my life.  Her passion in turn, has rubbed off on our now seven year old son. His name is Wes, but you might know him as “Cancer Man.”  Last year my son decided he didn’t want to just tag along with Cassi, and do Relay stuff.   He wanted to do things to make money for himself.  He came out of the end of the year as the top fundraiser in our area- at the age of seven.  I will tell you, he could be a high school quarter back and throw the winning touchdown in the championship game, and I wouldn’t be as proud of him as I am for his fight against cancer.

 I hope this encourages you all to donate to the great cause, and stand with us.  Whether it to me, or someone you know, a dollar can help save someone’s life.

A balloon release at our wedding reception to honor my dad.  Cassi and Wes wanted to send him a message to heaven.

How to help your little one make a BIG difference! Part 2!

In my last post, I shared ways that kids can make a big difference by fundraising- but I had so much to share that I am having to split it up over a few posts :) So let's continue!

The key for kids is to make fundraising fun and easy for them- and make it something they can do with what resources they have.  Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having kids participate in traditional fundraisers where you purchase something and then sell it- but it is important for me to show Wes that you don't have to have a lot of money to fund raise and make a difference.  Do you hear that grown ups?  Because it applies to you to!  The reason it is important to me to teach him to do this with what he has, is that I want him to look back on this experience, and feel proud, because he knows that HE did it on his own.  That is not going to work if he feels like mom did everything for him and he is just taking the credit for it. 

Talk Talk Talk ASK ASK ASK
One thing is for sure, people are not going to help you out if they don't know you are fundraising.  The same thing applies with our kids!  Encourage your child to tell people what they are doing, and why.  I don't just mean friends and family either!  When we go into a local business, you can bet Wes is going to talk to everyone and tell his story.  This opens up the conversation for their business to become a corporate sponsor for him.  Now, corporate sponsor sounds all scary and expensive, but the truth is, it isn't!  In Custer County, our sponsorships start at just $150 (and they are a tax deduction for the business!).  I think you will be pleasantly surprised about how willing businesses are to help, even if it is not in a financial way.  You might find a new place to sell hugs (or have a bake sale, etc) or they may be able to donate a small item for you to use in a silent auction/basket auction.

When I talk to people about asking businesses face to face for help or donations, they always seem reluctant.  Here is what I tell them-  the worst thing you are going to hear is no.  Even if you hear NO- think about it in a positive way.  You have just shared information about an amazing local event that fights back against cancer, and your excitement may have just created the next team, or participant!  They may decide to come see what the event is all about for the first time, or- they may know someone who is battling cancer who could use help from The American Cancer Society.  After all, we are all fighting for the same cause, so the word NO doesn't mean you aren't making a difference. 

Helping Hands
A great way for kids to raise money is by offering to help friends, family, and neighbors in exchange for fundraising money.  Your child could help neighbors by taking out trash, or pulling trash cans to the curb for busy neighbors on trash day.  It sounds easy and simple, right?  Well it is- let me do the math for you...  You have four neighbors that will pay your kiddo $5 a week to take trash to the curb on trash day.  If you start 8 weeks before your event, that is $160!

If your child is older, another great option is lawn mowing.  I will be totally truthful here and say I would WAAAAY rather pay someone else to mow my lawn.  Just ask my neighbor, Chuckie- who doubles as my lawn boy!

Give adults a run for their money!
Is your event having a Talent Show, or a Mr. Relay event?  Break the mold and ask your kiddo if they would like to participate!  By far, this is Wesley's favorite thing to do.  After seeing a Mr. Relay competition in 2011, he asked me why there weren't any kids participating (for those of you that don't know, Mr. Relay is when men dress up as women, perform a talent, and raise money!) When he asked, I realized he was right.  In fact, I had never even asked him if he WANTED to do it.  Welp, turns out he did.  He had his eye on beating the long-running winner of Mr. Relay, a local celebrity named John Liddle.  This created a really fun, friendly competition between the two of them.  After a VERY close race, Wes was crowned Mr. Relay 2012.  He raised a little over $500 in thirty minutes!

 Wes and John (below) these boys are class acts!

This year, our event hosted a talent show where the top three participants would go on to perform on Relay night.  The top three got voted in by donations- the great thing about this, is it gives him a chance to raise money not once, but twice! Now, I am not going to say this was an EASY fundraiser for us, because it has taken hours and hours of planning and practice- but if you ask me, it has been totally worth it so far!  Wes decided to take two big pop culture things (Honey Boo Boo and Gundam Style), and "smash them together and add some relay stuff" for his act.  Last night was the first talent show, and of course- I have pictures and video to share!  I don't know his total yet, but I know I saw at least one $100 bill in his jar last night :)

You know what I really loved about this as a parent?  The amount of encouragement and support Wes has gotten from everyone around him!  Last night we had friends, survivors, and even teachers come out to watch him in the prelims!  He has truly become a part of our Relay community, and loves to spend time talking with the "grown ups" about Relay and about making a big difference! 

Set realistic goals- then raise them!

Everyone loves to achieve and reach the goals they set for themselves!  This goes for kids to!  Set a realistic goal with them, and work towards it.  When you reach that first goal, celebrate- but don't stop!  Challenge your kiddo to set a new goal when you hit the first one.  As Wes told Cheryl last night, "Now that I am at $1,000 I am going to go by halves, or 5's- $1,500, $2,000- all the way until I reach a MILLION dollars!  And after that, I will go to infinity"  Now that, my friends- is a heart warming statement for anyone who has ever been touched by cancer.  Wes is in your corner fighting for a cure- to infinity! 

Stay tuned!  In my next post, I will share my favorite fundraisers for the rest of us- GROWN UPS!  After all, we have some amazing kids to keep up with! 

For The Cause! 

Cassi