RFL 2015 is here! AKA- Chad writes the best "Why I Relay" pages EVER.

Our Relay For Life Of Custer County 2015 website went live last week (HAPPY DANCE!) Even though we Relay all year at my house, we always get excited when the website goes up, because we can see who all is returning to our team, all of the new teams... and of course we get to size up our competition ;) Just kidding Maria and Krisha. 

Anyway, Chad (my husband) always writes the most amazing "Why I Relay" story every year for his page.  It's kind of a tradition for him- each year he sits down in his big ol brown recliner and writes a post explaining what Relay means to him at the moment.  After losing his mom this year- I am sure it was harder than ever. 

So, not to put him on front street or anything, but you guys should totally read this.  You can see his actual relay page here (and that's also where you can donate to him- hint hint)  ENJOY!

XO
Cassi

Why I Relay!!!

Time once again for the relay excitement to begin. Well officially that is. My family does Relay For Life all year, because we have been touched by this group more than the words that I am going to us in this message to you will ever be able to tell you. Every year I sit in my chair and write out why we do what we do at the Selby Household. So here we go- this is why we RELAY

R-------Represents
E-------Extreme
L-------Love
A-------All
Y-------Year

Six years ago my father was diagnosed with stomach cancer. It was at this time my life changed. At the time I was a young man running around without a since of reality what so ever. When I got the phone call from my mother letting me know that my father was in the hospital, I knew that there was something wrong. My father would never go to the doctor- let alone the hospital. So with no details I left OKC to travel back home to Arkansas to be with my family so we could find out what was going on. When I arrived they had discovered that my father had a tumor in his stomach that had grown to where it had 90% blockage of his esophagus. The moment I heard this was the only time I can remember feeling beaten. The man that was my family’s rock was sick, and none of us knew how to handle it.
        
Once we got our bearing, we all decided we were going to fight. We are Selby’s that is what we do. We may not win every time, but we never give up. I returned to Oklahoma, because my father said there was nothing I could do for him in Arkansas. This was a challenge for me. I felt helpless, and couldn’t concentrate on things.  I couldn’t believe what kind of control my father illness had on me. Three weeks later I got a phone call from my father.  It was a call that I will never forget. He was telling about what was going on with him, and that they had just put a feeding tube into his stomach, because he wasn’t able to swallow food. He had done his first round of chemo that was an in-patient week long ordeal. He was down and sounded like a man that had been through hell. He said, “Son I don’t know if I am going to be able to do this. I may need your help later down the road.”
         
I hate to admit this, but this was not an easy decision. I had recently started a relationship at the time with a wonderful woman. My heart wouldn’t let me abandon the man who had given me so much in my life. So I called my girlfriend to try to explain to her why I had to leave her in Oklahoma while I moved back to Arkansas to help my family. She didn’t even hesitate.  She told me if I stayed in Oklahoma, I wouldn’t be the man she wanted to date. With that, I put my career on hold by taking a step down so that I could be with my family.
         
With that the worst year of my life started. There are so many details that I could put here that honestly I still to this day don’t believe I can really think about. Things that I watched, things that I wished I could close my eyes and forget, but when I do close my eyes they still to this day flash at me in a horrible nightmare that doesn’t seem to stop.  So, I will not go into them. I will say that the saying “You are stronger because you lived through it” is the most untrue thing I have ever heard.  I watched cancer destroy the strongest man I have ever known in a blink of an eye. When he started treatment he was at least 180lbs, and towards the end he was lucky if he was 90lbs. After a year of battling this horrible disease my father passed away.
         
There was a glimmer of good that came out of this situation.  The woman that I was dating in Oklahoma decided that she didn’t want me to fight this battle alone.   She moved to Arkansas and brought her 2 year old son with her.  She was truly amazing at helping with the caregiving that my father required. We had to do things in shifts when my mother and I were at work she would care for him, and then we would take up when we got off work.
         
This was not our only battle with cancer in my life. When I was five my mother also had cancer. Back than we were nowhere near the advance medicine that we have today (thanks in a big part to American Cancer Society’s funding of research to develop new drugs and treatments). She went through countless treatments of radiation and other things that I was honestly too young to remember. I can say that my earliest memories as a child is of walking down St. Edwards Hospitals to see my mother in a hospital room countless times.
        

 My mother won her battle with cancer that time, but not without her battle scars. She ended up with major heart issues from the radiation that was used to battle the disease. We didn’t find out until 10 years later about the damage that was caused. When we were told that the walls of her heart were paper thin, the doctor said that is why you probably struggle with things around the house such as vacuuming and anything that requires physical activity. My whole family laughs at this. At that time in my mother was mowing the 4 acres of land that we owned every weekend, throwing bags of grass over the fence to the cows, and many other amazing things. Truly the strongest women on earth.
        

 A year ago they found cancer in my mothers leg. Her outlook on it was about the same as my dad’s- well time to start fighting. She went to the Mayo Clinic, and started getting doctors opinions on how to treat her cancer. They found that the only real way to get rid of the cancer was to do a full knee replacement including some of her thigh bone.  She went through the procedure and the healing of the complete knee replacement. She went through this at the age of 60 which is amazing to me- I don’t believe I could do it now. After only 3 weeks post op, she went back to work. Something that the doctors told her would take her at least two months.
         

One week before our Relay For Life last year I got another phone call from my mother saying that she wasn’t feeling good, and was going to go ahead and go to the doctor. She said that it had been a struggle to get to and from work all week and wanted to feel better before she had to return to work on Monday. I said, “Well I am going to go to be on vacation. I’ll drive down and see you.”  On the way down they admitted my mother into the hospital because of her heart. She passed away at 4:00 am that morning. The doctors say that her heart just finally gave out. I would also like to say as a testament to my mother resolve the week before my mothers passing she missed one day of work. Can you imagine doing that?  Your heart and liver failing and you are at work because that is what you do.  Such an amazing woman. As a matter of fact the love that my mother had in her heart was amazing. An hour before she passed away, she was lecturing me (something she did very well I may add) about getting some sleep, because I had been up for 24 hours, and she didn’t want me to be too tired. What an amazing women she was.  The loss of this great woman is a tragic loss to the world. Cancer may not have been the bullet that killed my mother, but it was the gun that fired the bullet.
         
This is why we Relay.  To give people hope.  Fighting the good fight can make a difference. You may say that my story doesn’t sound as if there is a chance to win against cancer. Well, to that I say you are wrong. This is how my family thinks of CANCER.


C------Create
A------A

N------New

C------Change
E-------Every
R-------Relay

         
The way we have won is because we have grown. The woman that moved to Arkansas to help me is now my wife. We have a son that is named Wes- some of you may know him as Cancer Man. The super hero that has dedicated his life to winning the fight against cancer through Relay For Life.  Last year he raised over $7,000 dollars on his own towards winning the fight against cancer. My favorite saying that he has is “I’m eight, what’s your excuse?” With that being said, I don’t think any of us can have anything to say about that except your right I better get started. Every day I watch what he does, and it warms my heart to think I have had a hand in raising this amazing boy, soon to be a man. It reminds me of the great things about my parents, because through him he helps me forget the last couple of years filled with bad memories.
         
With that being said Relay For Life is all about hope. Hope for a cure, hope that there is an end in sight, and hope that one day peoples lives will not dramatically change because of cancer. So what do you say?   Lets help other people have HOPE!!

H-------Hope
O-------Offers
P--------People
E--------Everything!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You,
Chad