February Facebook Relay For Life Challenge

Are you ready for an awesome 2014 Relay For Life season?  We are all fired up here in Custer County to finish the fight!  Share your love and passion about Relay by participating in Cancer Man's February Facebook Relay For Life challenge!  A Facebook challenge is a great way to get your Relay participants actively posting about your event on a daily basis.  I wrote this challenge to feature the best parts of Relay- when the posters friends see it, they should feel like they are missing out if they don't sign up (and hey, let's be honest- they are!)

Need a copy of the challenge to share or post on your Facebook wall?  Just Right click and save the image below!  Good luck!

UPDATE:  Your wish is my command!  You can find a March challenge here!

I Relay For Them.

Today is National Relay Kick Off Day.  In that spirit, I would like to start sharing some AMAZING examples of personalized Relay pages.  You have heard it over and over- personalize your page.  Why?  Well, it's simple really.  If someone clicks your fundraising link, and is captivated or inspired by what you are writing about, they are more likely to give you a donation.  I know it can seem scary, but you don't have to be an amazing author; just speak from your heart. 

You know, one of the biggest joys that comes with being an avid Relayer is the community of Relayers you meet along your journey.  I'm not just talking about people at your local event- but people you get to know from all over the country.  You have got to love modern technology- it is connecting those of us that bleed purple from all over the globe.  Whether it be through Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, or blogs like this one.  We are sharing our stories, ideas, and passion like never before. The Relay story below comes from Denise Mortimore's Relay Page  Denise is the Event Chair for American Canyon's Relay For Life in California.  Denise and I got to know each other last year when I made some Relay tank tops for her and her girls.  I have to say I think American Canyon is pretty darn lucky to have her as a chair.  She brings fresh ideas, a fierce spirit, and has so much PASSION for Relay.  I see a lot of myself in her- no wonder I like her so much! 

Without further ado - one of my favorite Relay stories. 

My Reason to Relay
The first time my best friend asked me to participate in Relay For Life I didn't feel like it would be a good idea.  I did not know anyone that had cancer at the time.  It sounded fun and it sounded interesting, but I felt I had no right to be there, because I didn't know anyone with cancer.  My best friend told me she didn't know anyone that had cancer (mind you- she is a survivor) at the time either, but we both ended up signing up together.

Little did I know that my life was about to be drastically touched- drastically changed.  I learned that I wasn't just walking for those fighting cancer right then, but those that have fought and won, and those that have fought but lost their battle.  My heart was touched, and I knew I was going to walk with everything in me for my Grandmother.

In 2007 my Grandmother was diagnosed with Leukemia.  It was late on-set leukemia and it was a devastating diagnosis.  I was very close with my Grandma.  Watching her health decline to this disease was heart-wrenching.  She passed right before my oldest daughter turned one.  I miss her every single day and know she is by my side.  I just wish she was still with us.  I walk and walk and walk in her honor.

Last year I found out that not only will I be walking for my Grandma, Uncle, friends, and children of friends, but I was now going to be walking for my Dad.  He was the one that heard those awful words "you have cancer" and I remember the phone call like it was yesterday from my step-mom telling me "it is malignant".  I immediately started bawling.  You see, my dad is my world and the thought of watching his health decline was so scary. He was diagnosed with Stage 2 Prostate Cancer.  But, prostate cancer is slow growing and many (not all) men will die of other health related issues before they will of prostate cancer.   So okay.  I can be okay with this.  Make sure he does all his follow-ups, etc.  He is a stubborn man and I knew he was not going to let this cancer win.  Ever.

Then came another scary diagnosis.  He was having some health issues and kept going into the doctor trying to feel better.  Feeling that the problem was probably his gallbladder, they did an ultrasound.  I am so thankful they did.  There, inside his body, was a tumor the size of a grapefruit.  It appeared to have attached to the Vena Cava and things did NOT look good.  He was diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumor.  An extremely rare tumor (Steve Jobs died from the same tumor) in that only .05% of malignancies will be this type of tumor.  That is only 1-2 people in 100,000.  The fact it appeared to be attached to the Vena Cava also made surgery scary and very difficult and we were warned that if it was attached, there would be nothing they could.  So the day of the surgery came.  We all sat in the waiting room on pins and needles.  Many many hours later they came out to tell us they got it all.  Even the part that was *just starting* to attach to the vena cava.  They said it was one of the most difficult surgeries of their entire career.  But they got it!  I walk with everything in me in his honor- he is a Survivor!!

I walk for an extremely courageous and beautiful little boy named Jared.  He is battling leukemia right now and is kicking some major cancer butt!  He has been through so much in his 3 short years on this planet but through it all?his infectious smile warms hearts and gives EVERYONE hope.  He is a Survivor!!

I walk for a friend of mine, someone with whom I was very close with that passed away from breast cancer.  Not only was she a friend, but she was my mentor to me.  I will never forget the phone call I received to tell me she had passed.  I can still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing.  I am walk in her honor.

My Uncle, the man I am named after, fought prostate cancer as well and won!  It was a long road for him but HE IS SURVIVING!  He is an inspiration to me, always has been.  I am walking for him.

One of my dearest friends, who is on my team with me, and the friend I talked about at the beginning is also a survivor.  Thyroid cancer.  I did not know her when she had cancer but I know her now and am honored to call her my best friend.  I walk with pride for her.  I walk with thankfulness that she fought this battle and I was able to meet her and have her in my life.

I am walking for one brave little girl, Rylie Cruz.  Her life ended way too soon from neuroblastoma.  Her courageous battle with this disease was an inspiration to many.  She touched my heart in so many ways.  NO child should ever have to deal with this disease!!!  Absolutely NO 3 year old should ever have to know what cancer is.  She is now one of Heaven's beautiful little angels.  I walk for her.

I walk for my two beautiful daughters ages 5 and 3 in the absolute hope that they NEVER have to know cancer on a personal level.  I pray they never have to know what it feels like to lose someone they love to it, and I pray they NEVER EVER have to deal with it in their own bodies.

I walk for my husband who I love more than words could ever express.  I pray and I walk in hopes that he NEVER has to deal with it in his own body.  Just the mere thought of him having to deal with it is terrifying.  In his career (firefighter), many men and women are diagnosed with and die from cancer.  I pray and I hope that he will never ever have to battle this.

I walk for my mom.

I walk for my step-dad.

I walk for my step-mom.

I walk for every single person in my life.

I walk for every single child.

I have various other family members and friends that have battled this disease and lost while others are surviving.  I am walking for every one of them.

For each person who has lost a loved one or who has been affected by this disease in some way...I am walking for you.

I am walking for all of our children.  I am walking for their future.

PLEASE support my efforts by making a donation or by joining my Relay For Life team. Together, we have the power to help create a world with less cancer and more birthdays!

Wouldn't it be wonderful for our children, grandchildren or great grandchildren to grow up in a world where there IS a cure for cancer?  I'm hoping to make that happen!  Are you?

_________________________________________________________

Powerful words, right?  Straight from the heart.  Denise is walking for you.

Moved, inspired?  Throw a little donation Denise's way.  and for goodness sakes, go personalize that page!

Have an awesome Relay story?  Post a link to your Relay page below!

<3 Cassi

Relay For Life Fundraising Letters - make it fun and personal!

It's a new year, and Cancer Man and I have been busy getting letters ready to go out to potential donors for Relay For Life!  I thought I would take a break from all of the folding and stuffing to share this years letters with you guys.  It is really amazing to me to see how much Wesley's letter writing skills have grown over the years.  Since he started Relaying on his own in kindergarten, the first ones were short and sweet.  But as he has grown they have gotten more detailed and informative!  To see previous years letters, look here!

First let's talk about some key points in fundraising letters that are effective.   I am known to encourage people all day long to ask online through email and Facebook, but there is something about getting an actual letter in the mail that really means something during our technology driven age.  Here's how to make the most of the letters you are writing once you get them in someones hands.

-Make it personal.  Why is Relay important to you?  How have you been personally affected by cancer?  Who are you walking for? Your friends and family know you- speak from your heart!

-Make it unique.  How many times have you just glanced over a letter asking for a donation because it looks boring?  Let's face it, we have short attention spans.  How can you make your letter unique to draw people in?  Some of my favorite letter have had a really creative edge.  A drawing, a picture, and hand made paper have topped the list on my favorites from kids- but you grown ups can do that to! Not into drawing?  Write from a creative edge (check out my letter from my dogs!)

-Share the details.  When is the event?  How can they donate online?  Who should the check be made out to?

Cancer Man writes a LOT of letters, and they are a huge part of what makes him the top fundraiser for our event.  We separate his letters into three categories- previous donors, in town friends, and out of town family and friends.  Check them out!

Previous donors:

In town friends:

Out of town family and friends:

So now that you know what direction we are going for the year- let me share my favorite little secret for speeding things up.  Adding a return envelope with your address on it increases your likelihood of getting a donation back.  But addressing them all (on top of putting your return address on all of the envelopes you are sending) is a lot of work.  We have streamlined that process by having Jessica Lynn Original create a custom return address stamp for us.  Let me tell you, it saves my hands!  So check her out- she has even created a special Relay for Life stamp, and will donate to Cancer Man every time one is sold.  If you are going to spend money, it might as well come back to the cause, right!?  She even made us one with his face on it, which he adores!

It is always more fun to write letters, and stuff envelopes with friends.  So, think about hosting a letter writing party at your next team captain or team meeting!  It's a great time to sit and talk about your upcoming Relay plans, and get ideas from other Relayers to!

So get out your favorite purple pen, and get to writing!  Together, we can finish the fight against cancer.

Peace, love, CURE!
Cassi

Relay For Life Power Wheels Raffle idea... the perfect Christmas Fundraiser!

My oh my- have I got an awesome idea to share with you today! Brenda Holloway shared the most amazing fundraising idea with me for Christmas, and it is too good not to share.  Christmas is a great time for gearing up and fundraising for your next years Relay.  Not only are people in the giving spirit, but there are a lot of great ways to incorporate the upcoming holiday into your plans.  This one, my friends, does my favorite thing- thinking outside of the box!

Introducing.... The Power Wheel Raffle!

Best idea ever, right!?!?   Here's how it works.

Contact local businesses, and ask them if they would like to sponsor your car. Or, ask people if they would like to honor a person (families supporting work as well!).  It is up to you how much to charge to be a sponsor, I went with $25 so it would be affordable and easy for people to do.  My friend Sarah just told people "a minimum of $20" for hers, so people would feel free to offer more if they wanted to!  I was able to get all of my sponsors in just a few hours by emailing people on Facebook.  You will use the sponsorship money to buy your car- I got ours on Amazon.  Then, display the names of your sponsors proudly on your car!  I have a Silhouette Cameo, so I made mine at home, but you could also ask your businesses to give you stickers, or get an in kind sponsor who would be willing to print them for you.

Next, get your team together, and sell some tickets!  We are offering ours for $1 each, but most people buy more than one.  Before you start doing this part, you will want to be sure to check with your state gaming regulations to make sure you are staying legal while selling them :)  I made each team member an envelope with 200 tickets inside, and the above flier attached, and challenged them to each sell 200.  Brenda sold 1,000 her first week with hers, and we sold 100 for ours this weekend! 

So, if you have this awesome car, there is no reason to leave it sitting in your house, right!?  Find a local business who would be willing to display it for you, and take ticket sales as well.  Brenda put hers in town square, Sarah will have hers at The Tag Agency in her town, and ours is up in a display window at a trendy little shop on Main Street called Simplistic Style (the owner is a survivor!)

I picked a red car so I could get parents with boys to buy tickets to- but Brenda did pink- check this bad boy out!

And, for another spin- Sarah is getting a yellow hummer, and a John Deere Tractor!  Cute, right!?  The options are endless, so just go with what works best for your group!

Now, my little salesman, Wes (aka.. Cancer Man ) came up with a great sales pitch to anyone who says- well, I don't have kids.  He tells them if they win, we will donate the car on thier behalf to the charity of their choice!  I would love to see it go to a child going through treatment, or The Children's hospital if that happens- but there are many other organizations that would be great to- like Angel Tree, or Toys for Tots!

Don't forget to use all avenues for selling raffle tickets... you know what I am talking about... SOCIAL MEDIA BABY! Here is the post I made to give you a jumping point- note how I tell them how to buy the tickets online (hint hint.. you should totally buy some!)

Help me finish the fight against cancer! We are raffling off a brand new RED Power Wheels Mustang proceeds go to Relay For Life of Custer County! Tickets are $1 each! If you are in Weatherford, feel free to contact me and I will come to you, or purchase them at Simplistic Style on Main Street. To purchase raffle tickets online-

-Donate to Cancer Man Wes here ($1 per ticket)
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/CancerMan

-Email your name, address and phone number to
cassiselby@live.com so I can fill out your tickets for you!
Subject line: RAFFLE

-Stay tuned to http://www.facebook.com/CancerManWes December 15th to see who wins! (Don't worry, Cancer Man will call the winner to!)

-We will deliver the car anywhere in Oklahoma!

***If you are NOT IN Oklahoma***, but still want to help- you can buy tickets, and if you win the car will be donated on your behalf to the charity or person of your choice in the state of Oklahoma.

Happy holiday fundraising everyone!  I am always here for you if you have questions! If you do this fundraiser, send pictures to cassiselby@live.com, and I will add them to the blog- we want to know how it goes! 

Let's finish the fight!
<3 Cassi

Tips for the awesome idea? Yes please! Donate to my personal Relay For Life fundraising page here!

Relay For Life Movie Theme Team Name Ideas

It's no secret that I am super excited about our Relay theme this year - Lights, Camera, Cure!  Life on the purple carpet.  I've been pinning on Pinterest like some kind of mad woman.  But there are so many good ideas that I can't help myself!  So, naturally, like any good OCD list maker- I have been jotting down team name/theme ideas as I think of them or come across a really good one.  I thought I would post them here in case any other teams need some inspiration (that's right, steal away!).  But, I also want you to comment below with your ideas to help me grow the list!

Here are a few of my favorites so far-

-Pirates of the CUREibbean

-Toon out Cancer

-Let’s make cancer Gone with the Wind

-Go on and cure the girl- The Little Mermaid

-Rocky – Knock out cancer

-Survivor – Voting Cancer Off The Island

-Oz- There’s no place like hope

-Finish The Fight Club

-Mean Girls-
   -Cancer can’t sit with us

   -A cure would be so fetch

   -On Wednesdays we wear pink (pink ribbon theme)

   -Cancer doesn’t even go here!

-Blind side cancer

-Peter Pan- sending cancer to Neverland

-Relay Wars or Bra Wars(Star Wars Theme)

-Willy Wonka- A cure would be sweet, Wishing and Working for a cure

-Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hope

-A Relay Story (A Christmas Story)

-Help us create more un-birthdays (Alice in Wonderland)

-Toy Story - Let's kick cancer to infinity and beyond!

-Roaring away cancer (Lion King, or Jurassic Park theme!)

-Jurassic Park - Making cancer extinct!

-Beauty and The Beast - The beauty of life is beating the beast called cancer.

- Big Brother - We vote to evict cancer!

- Despicable Me- Despicable Cancer, Incredible Me!

-Finding Nemo- Finding a Cure

-Frozen - Making Cancer Frozen

-

Of course, being Cancer Man's mom, we are going with a hero theme - "Hero Headquarters-Super Heroes Unite to Finish The Fight!

Help me add to the list by commenting below!  That way, when other Relayer's across the world see this, they can benefit from our brainstorm!

As always, with hope-
Cassi

Relay For Life team captains- the business of Relay

Ahhh- September is here and that means dedicated Relay For Life team captains are registering online, hitting up Pinterest, dreaming up fundraisers, and making sure everything is in order to make 2014 the best year yet!  As we start jumping into meetings and kick offs, I want to share my “business approach” to Relay For Life.

Now, if this is your first time viewing my blog, let me give you a little background.  I am a successful small business owner, run a small team that raised a little over $7,000 last year, and most importantly, I am Cancer Man’s mom.   If you don’t know who Cancer Man is, you are in for a treat- just check out my little guy here. 

I know what you are thinking- Relay is not a business!  And you are right.  But, like anything worthwhile, you put in a lot of hours, you manage people, you advertise, and you are in charge of large projects.  Sure, you don’t get paid- but to tell you the truth, helping people through Relay is worth more to me than any job could pay me.  If you approach this year’s Relay like a small business owner approaches business, you are going to have a more profitable, successful and organized team this year.  And let’s be honest, who doesn’t want that!?

Recruiting your team

When looking for new team members (or captains for you committee members); think of the hiring process a small business owner would use to look for staff.  Would you want someone unreliable?  Would you want someone you had to beg to come to work?  Or would you want someone self-motivated, passionate, and willing to contribute?  If my bread and butter were on the line, I would pick the latter!  We all know that there is nothing worse than having to beg team members to participate.  You want someone on your team that feels the same fire YOU feel about making a difference, and ending cancer!  I personally prefer a team on 10 people who are going to work hard over a team of 20 where I have to pull all of the weight.

Profits and Profitability

To run a successful business, you have to be aware of your profits at all times.  Is your product or service worth the amount of time you are putting in?  The same thing goes with Relay.  The more profit you make during a fundraiser, the more you have going towards your goal!  There is nothing better than a fundraiser that makes 100% profit.  So, write letters, post on Facebook, and get as many businesses to donate to you as you can.  If you are running a fundraiser that is not 100% profit, make sure you are getting the best possible deal on the item you are selling.  For example, if you are getting T-shirts printed, check around to make sure you are getting the biggest bang for your buck.  If Relay was your business, saving a dollar shirt would mean an extra $100 in your pocket if you sold 100 shirts in your store.   An extra $100 towards you Relay goal is a HUGE deal, so be sure you are price conscious.  Don’t be afraid to ask for a better price.  Explain that you are fundraising for Relay for Life, and WHY Relay is so important to you.  After all, it is likely that the person you are dealing with has known or knows someone with cancer, and will support your cause.  This works online as well.  I was pleasantly surprised last year to save $40 on a pop up tent for my team to use just by emailing the company and explaining that I was purchasing it for a Relay For Life event. 

Social Media

Any small business owner will tell you that social media is a life saver.  Why?  You can connect to thousands of people instantly for FREE.  So, whether you use Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube or Instagram- take advantage of those platforms, and encourage your team to use them as well.  You never know where your next donation will come from.  Be sure any time you post to one of these sites about Relay that you link to your fundraising page.  Working on a Relay project?  Snap a picture and put it on Instagram!  Have an awesome fundraising idea?  Post it on Pinterest!  Do you have a team member performing in a Relay talent show?  Take a video, and post it on YouTube (side note- YouTube is one of Wes’ favorite platforms- his Honey Boo Boo Relay impersonation has over 8,000 hits!) Did you hit a fundraising milestone?   Celebrate with a Facebook post!  

Connect with others that have a common goal.

Speaking of social media- take the opportunity to connect and like Facebook pages for your event, and division.  Small business owners frequently support each other, and help each other with ideas.  The same thing goes with Relay!  Some of the best ideas I have seen (and used!) have come from reading Facebook posts from other Relayers.  It is also wonderful to be able to reach out to others that can relate to you for advice and support when you hit a rough patch (hey, we have all been there.)  When I hit a road block with my business, or need a fresh idea, the first thing I do is Facebook one of my friends who also owns a small business (you know who you are!).   Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective. 

Another new and exciting way to connect with other Relayers is Relay Nation!  If you haven’t used it yet, you are missing out.  Relay Nation is essentially an online chat board that connects Relay For Lifers from all over the US.  Relay Nation is my go to place when I need input on a new fundraising idea, or a new idea all together!   Want to throw an adult prom, but worry about the kinks?  Relay Nation, my friends.  More than likely, you will be able to connect with someone who has done one before, and can offer advice. 

Learn from your mistakes, and use them to grow.

Mistakes happen.  Successful business owners know that mistakes are inevitable, and use them as a learning tool.  One time, I had this GENIUS idea to make up a ton of baby shower gift baskets to sell.  I rushed out and ordered a ton of supplies, made them all up, and eagerly posted them online.  Six months later I had sold ZERO.  What I learned from that process was that people wanted to custom choose sizes, colors, and products instead of buying a prepackaged deal.  Sure, my pride was hurt.  But learning that lesson was a valuable asset to me!  The same thing goes with fundraisers.  They are not all going to be smash hits.   Take what you learn from those mishaps, and apply those lessons to future fundraisers or events. 

Schedule and Organize

Have you ever been at a fundraising event that is a hot mess?  No one knows what they are supposed to be doing, what time they are needed, what to bring, or how to help.  A small business owner would never schedule the biggest sale of the year without some careful planning and scheduling!  So, delegate tasks (I know this is a hard one!  But, you can’t do it all on your own!), and let people know when they are needed.   It seems like a no brainer, but just asking everyone to show up and winging it is like asking for a disaster.   Remember, your team members want to enjoy the experience of making a difference.  They are more likely to volunteer to come help at fundraisers when they know they can count on you to make everything to run smoothly.

Treat each donor like a valued customer

Have you ever noticed the difference between the customer service you get at a small business vs. a big box store?  The difference is small business owners KNOW, without a doubt, that their customers are their bread and butter.  If you get treated like crap at a store, are you going to go back there and shop again?  Heck no!  Donors who don’t feel appreciated or acknowledge won’t donate to again when the time comes around.  Spend the time it takes to send thank you notes to donors, and let them know how much you appreciate them.   After all, if you are reading this, you are probably what my son and I call a Relay for Lifer (someone who makes Relay a part of their life year after year).  Those yearly donations and connections can make a huge difference in your success. 

I hope this post has helped you look at your team in a new way!  Remember- entrepreneurs and successful team captains also have another very important thing in common.  They FEEL passion about what they are doing deep in their hearts.    I am so glad you are in this fight with me- together, we can do more than any of us can do alone!

For the cause! <3
Cassi

What are your top Relay tips?  Share them in a comment below!  If this post helped you, be sure to subscribe.  Or hey, you can always show your appreciation with a donation at my Relay page! 

Chad's Story

This blog post is a very special, and personal one.  My husband sat down and worked on his Relay For Life page tonight, and to my surprise, he shared his story on WHY Relay for Life is important to him.  It was so inspiring to me, that I had to share it with you here. 
As always- for the cure!
Cassi

Hello Everyone,

I have decided after two years to join another Relay for Life Team.  I have been active in Relay helping my wife and son’s teams, but I haven’t joined.   Honestly, the memories are still very hard for me deal with. What I have enjoyed over the years is sitting back, and watching everyone fight to end cancer.  Everyone always had a common goal.  Last year at Relay they had a fight back activity where you made a pledge for the year of how you were going to fight for the cause. This took me back, because I have always been hiding while my family fights.  So, my pledge for the year was that I would share my story of my family’s battle with cancer, and be more involved.  I would hopefully let people who are out there that feel the same way know that is ok to hurt for the ones they have lost.  Also, hopefully it will show them that it is right to fight for the cause, and stand with all the people that are willing to do it.

At age 7 I had my first experience with cancer.  My mother had stage 4 ovarian cancer. This was a time when Chemo wasn’t really around. Through my mother’s strong will and stubbornness, she became one of a very few that survived this disease.  She didn’t make it out of the fight without scars, to this day she has a wide list of health problems that she has been fighting with for the past 25 years of her life.  At seven, I was very unsure of what would happen.  I can remember walking down a lot of hospital hall ways, and being in the hospital room with a lot of families in them. Still having my mother here to this day is amazing.

 My mom today.

The next experience with cancer was with my father five years ago.  My father was the rock for my family. He was the one that we all turned to whenever there was a problem.  One day, while working In Oklahoma City, I received a phone call from my mother saying that my father was in the hospital.  My heart dropped to floor.  I got to Arkansas as soon as I could.  Once there I found that many test had been ran on my father, and they had found that he had stomach cancer that had grown to a 90% blockage of his esophagus.

This struck me very hard.  I was torn, because my father was in pain, and my life was in a completely different state over five hours away.   Once we got the plan from the same doctor that had treated my mother seventeen years before, I returned home. Over the course of a month I spoke to my family every day for updates, and tried to return to my life. One day, I called and talked to my father.  He was very down, and told me his one fear was that if it did come time for his fight to be over, he would be in a strange place that he didn’t call home.  This caused me to hurt for my father, so I made a decision that was difficult for me to make, even though I knew that I had go and be with him.  My wife and I had just really started dating, and it is amazing that she stuck with me during this time, because I was so distant from everything in my life.  I had to have a conversation with Cassi, and tell her I had to leave Oklahoma and return home.  She was so supportive, and said that she understood. So a week later I left Oklahoma to help my mother take care of my father. 

 Cassi and I when we first started dating.

Once returning home we began our battle.  By then chemo had completely broke my once strong father.  He had gone from 195ibs to 90 lbs, and I think he lost weight every day after that. He was on a feeding tube because he couldn’t swallow any food.  Just thinking about that is enough to kill me.  My father didn’t taste food for the last year of his life. We tried a wide variety of treatments, he had chemo while hospitalized, chemo from home, radiation, and surgeries. None of these were successful. The time I knew that the outlook wasn’t going to be good we were at the doctor’s office getting him a chemo treatment , and he got up to go to the bathroom.  After five steps,  he went straight down into my arms. It was a downward spiral after that. 

 The family after dad started chemo.

My hope was gone, and I was a beaten man.  The only thing that kept me going was that Cassi had decided that I shouldn’t go through this alone.  She decided to make a huge leap in her and her two year old son’s life.  She left her job, and moved to Arkansas.  She helped give me strength, and became another care giver for my father during his last year.  My mother, Cassi , and I worked in shifts taking care of my father .  

                           Wes and I in a rare moment of play time after moving to Arkansas.

 He didn’t do a lot of walking the final three months of his life. I remember him falling, and my mother calling me at work, and me coming home to check on him. Once I got there I knew he was really bad, and close to the end. I told him that I was going to call an ambulance and I remember him being so mad at me- like I had betrayed him, because his wish was to pass away at home. I was crying when I told him these words, “I am not willing to give up on you yet , dad,  and I am not willing to let you give up either.  I give you my word, once they tell us it’s over; I will break you out of the hospital if I have to, and bring you home.  I am just not willing stop fighting.” His response to this was, “Well fine at least shave me,  I am not going to go anywhere looking like a mountain man that can’t even take care of himself.” He was always worried about being proper, and how he didn’t want people to see him as weak.  So, I shaved his face, combed his hair, and we took him to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, the doctors didn’t want us to lose hope, so they kept up with the treatments and the other things for quality of life that they could do. We were in the hospital for almost a month until they finally said he would be lucky to survive a couple more days.  I was the one that had to lean over while he was in the hospital bed, and inform him of what we had been told.  In the edited words of my father he said “Stuff happens.” Than he looked me dead in my eyes, and said, “Son, I know I said I never wanted you to put life on hold for me, but I am glad you are here.”  At that moment,  I knew what we had to do, which was grant his wish and take him home.

Getting him home was not an easy task. We had hospice (which is a life saver please don’t miss read what I am writing- they help so many families, and I can’t thank them enough) but, hospice can only be there so much.  There are so many people that need them throughout the city they work in, they came in for around an hour a day, and the rest of the time it is up to caregiver’s.   I will spare you the details of all of the health care that my mother, Cassi and I had to do, but I would like to say that as a father myself,  I will do anything that I can never to have my son do the things for me that I had to do for my father.  Every day I close my eyes, and I can only remember the bad times while my father was sick.  I struggle to remember all of the great things he had done. Every once in a while when I get ready for work,  I hear my father’s voice saying “Make sure your shirt lines up with your zipper boy.” Or, “Slow down while you are shaving your missing to many spots.” and I smile.

My father survived for three weeks which was a lot longer than the two days they thought while he was in the hospital. During that time Cassi did a lot of reading for me about how to cope and deal with losing a loved one.   She also researched things we could do to help make things easier for my father.  The main thing she found was you always needed to make sure you said goodbyes, and let them know you loved them. This was hard for me and my father, because we were both non affectionate type people.  But, two days before he passed I took the opportunity to tell him how much I loved him and that I promised I would watch over the family. He looked at me and said “I love you to, now stop this.  I am having enough trouble right now without all this boo hooing.” I know this sounds harsh, but no sweeter of words could have been said by Jack Selby.

The last night was horrible.  We had to hold my father down, and it was like watching World War Three was going on in his body.  The only thing I really remember was telling Cassi to take Wes out of the house, because he shouldn’t see this.  Then, I remember sitting next to the bed and feeling peace go through the house.   I looked up, and my father, after a year of fighting, had passed.

My father passing away was not a total loss to me.  First, it gave me my wife, Cassi.  We got married on October 10^th, 2010 (or 10-10-10, so I can always remember it.) She took the experience, and channeled her love for my father to Relay for Life.  And, if I do say for myself, she is one of the biggest fighters for the cause I have ever met in my life.  Her passion in turn, has rubbed off on our now seven year old son. His name is Wes, but you might know him as “Cancer Man.”  Last year my son decided he didn’t want to just tag along with Cassi, and do Relay stuff.   He wanted to do things to make money for himself.  He came out of the end of the year as the top fundraiser in our area- at the age of seven.  I will tell you, he could be a high school quarter back and throw the winning touchdown in the championship game, and I wouldn’t be as proud of him as I am for his fight against cancer.

 I hope this encourages you all to donate to the great cause, and stand with us.  Whether it to me, or someone you know, a dollar can help save someone’s life.

A balloon release at our wedding reception to honor my dad.  Cassi and Wes wanted to send him a message to heaven.